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Chapter 3
By The Illustrious DanZero
In the underground section, Team D-n-D
DanZero and MedusaD are navigating the passage up to the garage level. It is very dark.
"Geez, the flashlight is running low!" says Dan.
"You forgot the batteries, Dan?" asks Medusa.
"Yes, D. I wasn't as prepared as I thought I'd be, because I forgot that Amon is with
Gray!"
"Dammit! You're way too lazy ever since Amon joined our team!" screams Medusa.
"D, not so loud! There could be K.O.R. members here!" says Dan.
All of a sudden, they hear a voice.
"Who's there!" it says.
"Shit!" Dan says. "Think, Zero, Think!"
Immediately, he alters his voice to one of a K.O.R. member. "Um, nothing except
another *AMAZING* product!"
"Nice try!" The voice finds DanZero's light.
"Oh no!" says Dan. "It's...it's"
"Hi, my name's Anthony Sullivan!!! And I've got a great invention to get rid of you
intruders!!"
"Oh no, not another Smart Chopper, or one sweep broom!" says Dan. "You'll
want to run from the glare of my CDs!" He takes
one out, and proceeds to use the shiny surface to blind him."
"AHHHHH! THE LIGHT!!! It's brighter than the TapLights!!!" He runs, dropping
something.
"Ha! You can't mess around with the Illustrious One!" Dan says confidently.
"Good job, Dan!" says Medusa. "Look, he dropped something!"
"Yeah, and we're in business, hon!" "It's a TapLight!!!"
"Great!" says Medusa. "And it works!"
"Now we have a sufficient light source!" "Let's continue on!"
DanZero and Medusa continue their assault.
On the top floor, team Graymon
Gray and Amon are now on the top floor, at the K.O.R's executive offices.
"Be careful, Amon." says Gray. "I've had fights with the Kortac, but I
don't know how difficult this branch
will be."
"Geez, just a bunch of annoying infomercial gurus? Let me at em!" screams Amon.
"Well, we have to look for clues." Gray says, taking some de-alienizer underwear
from his pack. "Here, let's check out
some of their offices. Keep your eyes peeled."
Gray opens the door slowly.
2 men are in the room.
"May we help you?" they say.
"Carleton Sheets! Don Lapre!" Gray says. "Oh no, I guess we hit on their
real estate area!!!!"
"That's right!" Don says. "With my package, you can make THOUSANDS of
dollars placing tiny classified ads!!"
"And with my program, you can buy property for NO MONEY DOWN!!!!!!!" says
Carleton.
"Well..." Gray says, holding a newspaper... "Check this out, Don. I've
taken your advice. Many tiny classified ads. And I've even
considered starting my own 1-900 number!!!"
Don is distracted. "Oh, really? Another sucker...I mean student!! Let me see!"
He looks at the paper, the ads all read: "You're going down, K.O.R... robbing people
of their money, the only one making the money are you guys!"
Don then sees the paper transform back into Amon, who immediately holds Carleton, while
Gray uses the underwear on Don's face, and knocks both their heads together.
"Well done, Gray." says Amon.
"Well, I didn't know you could turn into a newspaper on demand."
"Those guys were such idiots, they should've recognized the paper was named the Amon
Times-Sentinel-Post-Capper!"
"Well, they're one sided, themselves, anyway!" says Gray. "Let's move
on."
Back at the garage with D-n-D
DanZero and Medusa are searching for K.O.R.
"This TapLight is great!" says DanZero.
"Don't fall victim to the K.O.R, Dan! You're too important to us!!!" says
Medusa.
"Awwww, D!" DanZero blushes a bit. He turns around to hug and kiss her, but he
hears her scream. He sees more K.O.R. members.
"D!!!!!!!!!" yells Dan.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Anthony Sullivan returns. "You think your dumb discs
stopped me?" "We're taking your partner to be JUICED!!!!"
"Oh no, you will NOT subject her to Jay Kordich, the Juiceman!"
"DECAPITATO!!!!!" He starts tossing discs at Sullivan.
He disappears with Medusa. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! SUBMIT TO THE K.O.R!" He yells
through thin air.
"Dan, help me!!!!!!!!" yells Medusa through the thin air.
"I'm coming, hon! You're too important to us at CT!!!!!" "Aw crap, where do
I go?" "Better call Tolstoy!"
"The Illustrious One calling Capper Central! Come in!"
"Yes, what is it, DanZero?" says Tolstoy.
"I'm a real dumbass this time! I let Anthony Sullivan of the K.O.R. take our D away!
I need the coordinates to where they are taking her!"
"Hobbes, get Zero some coordinates!" says Tolstoy.
Hobbes computes. "Ok, Dan. Point A0063."
"Gotcha. DanZero out."
He runs to the next area.
Meanwhile, down on the next floor with Graymon....
Gray and Amon move down to the next floor.
"That was close, Amon. We've got to be careful." says Gray.
They pass by a closet, and hear a muffled voice.
"Gray, check out the closet!" They do so.
They see a man, tied up.
"Hold on, we'll free you!" says Gray.
"Oh, wow! Thank you."
"Ron Popeil!"
"That's right. The king of infomercials." says Ron.
"Aren't you with the K.O.R.?" says Gray.
"No, I know all about them, and these people are just downright annoying. They sell
products that are *not*
effective as advertised, and being in the selling business as long as I have, I have the
most experience. Let me help you guys out."
"Sure, we could use a slight edge in this battle." says Gray.
"Now, as far as I know, this is the "Cleaning" floor, where they try to
hawk bad cleaners with all natural ingredients."
"Ok, let's see if we can eliminate some more K.O.R. Let's check out this
studio."
They head for a studio, where a cleaning product is on the air.
"Ok, now. Amon, turn into the container of cleaner, while I create a diversion."
"Ok, Gray." says Amon.
The person trying to make the fast sell is none other than Larry Gourlie, of Quick 'N'
Brite fame.
"Folks, with this Quick N Brite, there's no harsh chemicals!"
"Oh yeah?" says Gray. "Well, you're about to have some!!!!" He throws
underwear square at his face.
"Oh, a Capper, huh? Well, let me take some of this Quick N Brite, and clean you
up!" He takes some from *Amon.*
"AHHH!!! MY HAND!!!!!! This is *not* the Quick N Brite!!!!"
Amon turns back and wacks him in the back with Larry's trademark squeegee.
"Excellent teamwork, Amon! The underwear will take care of him." says Gray.
"Great piece of work, guys. You call yourselves "Cappers?" asks Ron.
"Yeah, we control the screengrabs, and the underwear. There are 2 others with us,
that are going up attacking like us." Gray says. "Let's move on."
At Point A0063
DanZero is at the coordinates that Hobbes gave.
"Oh my..."
He sees MedusaD, tied up, above a gigantic Juiceman juicer. Jay Kordich, John The Brit,
and Anthony Sullivan are there.
"HAHAHAHAHA!!!! This is for disparaging the TapLights!!! And stealing them!"
says Anthony.
"It's the fiber, of the juice, that feeds you!!!" says Jay.
"Why are we using the Juiceman? My Rocket Chef could've got the job done in half the
time!" says John.
DanZero watches the debacle. "There's got to be a way I can prevent her from being
puree!"
As Medusa slowly gets lowered, DanZero better think of something.
To Be Continued
(Gigantic Juiceman Juicer?!?!)