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Part Five
By the Illustrious DanZero
At the rooftop
The Cappers arrive at the roof. There, Little Joe and the Psychic 5 await.
"HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!" "You're no match for our powers!" they
all say.
"Well, we're here to put an end to the Kult of Redundancy for good!" says
DanZero.
"Who are you? And why do you want to stop us?" says Joe.
"We are...THE CAPPERS!" yells Gray. "And what you're doing to Sub-Pop Rock
City is unbelieveable!"
"What, offering top quality products at discount prices?"
Ron steps in. "Well, you and your cronies are offering these *products* that don't do
what they're supposed to!"
"POPEIL!!!! THEY FREED YOU????" "We were going to perform experiments on
you to see what makes your products superior to ours!!!"
"You'll *NEVER* make a product superior to mine!!!"
"NEVERMIND! We will destroy the Cappers, and you, Popeil! HAHAHAHA!!!"
"Guys..." said DanZero. "We're not outnumbered, per se, but these are
*psychics* we're talking about here!"
"You actually *believe* them, Dan?" said Medusa. "They're nothing!"
"Yeah, but the one in the middle is the one they call, the Amplewoman."
"The Amplewoman!" says Gray. "The one of Artanas' legend!"
"Correct." says Dan. "She is quite, um, ample!" "Let's see if we
can get the other four, first." "You ready, D?"
"Yes, Dan!"
"SCREAMTATO!!!!"
They were unsuccessful. The targets moved out of the way.
"What?" says Dan. "How did they know.... wait, Amplewoman!!!!!! She *IS*
psychic!"
"Sum bitch" says Gray.
"Wait, Medusa!" says Dan. Try your Screaming Reamer!
"Ok, Dan!" "SCREAMING REAMER!!!!" A blast of light comes from the sky,
blinding the Psychic 5.
"Ok, D! Now that they're temporarily blinded, let's attack!"
"Ok, Dan!" says Gray. "Amon?"
"Right on it." Amon turns into a special bomber. Not just *any* bomber.
"Climb aboard Gray, this is for you!!!!"
"Ok, Amon!!!!" It is shaped like underwear. He flies over the psychics, and
drops five underwear bombs. They plop. Four of the five psychics are immobilized and
demoralized, except for Amplewoman.
"Well, four out of five aint bad." says Dan.
"I WILL CRUSH YOU!" says Amplewoman.
"Brace for impact, cappers!" says DanZero.
All of a sudden, a figure falls down from the skies. It lands in front of the cappers, and
turns around.
"Dairai!!!!" says DanZero. "Boy, are we glad to see you!"
"Why are we, Dan?" says Gray.
"Because, she is an expert at another thing that is redundant, that happens to be a
powerful anti-redundant! Pokemon!!!"
"Of course!"
"Greetings, Cappers." says Dai. "I know Artanas personally, and I do some
bounty hunting, as well."
"Well, of course, you're revered throughout the capper circuit." says Dan.
"Do you have something for Amplewoman?"
"Of course! Watch!" "Dairaichu, I choose you!"
The Cappers watch as a small animal stands in front of her.
Amon, who is still a plane, Gray, and Medusa all exclaim "DAIRAICHU?"
"Geez, don't you cappers know ANYTHING?" says DanZero. "Raichu is the
evolved form of Pikachu!!! Except hers just happens to be special!"
"Oh, that's it?" says Medusa.
"Well, yeah!" says Dan.
Dairaichu creates an electric field, stunning Amplewoman in mid air. "Go now,
Dan!"
"You got it!" DanZero takes out his Superunknown CD, and starts chanting.
"Heal my wounds without a trace, and seal my tomb without my face, I'm going to the
lonely place!" "DECAPITATO!!!"
A successful hit, as DanZero takes the head of Amplewoman for his collection. The cappers
are grossed out. Amon picks him up, and DanZero flies away.
"Dan! Where the hell are you going!" says Gray and Medusa.
"Don't worry! I have a plan to get rid of Little Joe!" "See ya!"
"HAHAHAHAHA!!! Very impressive eliminating the Psychic 5!!!!!" says Little Joe.
"But, DanZero's plan will fail!!!! He's running away, it seems!"
"Cappers don't run away!" says Medusa. "I dunno what the hell is up with
Dan, but me and Gray will fight to the end!!!!"
Meanwhile, in a nearby building, top floor.
"What exactly are you going to do, Dan?" says Amon.
"Easy, I'm gonna pick off Little Joe from a distance!!" says Dan. "And for
that, I'll need a good sniper rifle! I've played Silent Scope enough times to know a good
head shot!"
"How does a PSG-1 sound?" says Amon.
"Perfect." says Dan. "Do your thing."
He turns into the PSG-1 rifle. "Be careful, Dan. I only have one bullet."
"A bit of a challenge, huh?" says Dan. "No problem."
Back on the rooftop....
"Whatever Dan's doing, it better work, because my underwear is useless!" says
Gray.
"Yeah, Gray! And my Screaming Reamer is ineffective, too!" says Medusa.
Little Joe advances towards the cappers. "You will die, and I will be the one to do
it!" All of a sudden, a shot rang out from a nearby building. A bullet hits Little
Joe square in the head, knocking him back..."
"Great Grunderwear!" says Gray. "Was that who I thought it was?"
"Yup! It's Dan!!!!" says Medusa.
Little Joe falls back, and falls down the building. Dan returns.
"Sci-Fi me, baby!" says Dan, holding the PSG-Amon.
"Awesome shot, Dan!" says Gray. You saved Sub-Pop Rock City!
"You were great, hon!" says Medusa.
"Aw, thanks guys!" says Dan. "Now, can we do something with Joe and the
gang?"
"I can." says Dairai. "I think our good friend Artanas knows a good place
for this "K.O.R.!"
"Dementia!" says DanZero. "Where they can be capped, by us!"
"COOL!"
"It certainly is, Dan!!!" says Gray.
"Ok, I'll take care of the K.O.R. mess, says Dairai." "You guys better get
back to Sub-Pop Rock City!"
"All righty.." says Gray. Amon turns back into a plane, and Gray gets in.
"Come on Dan. Dan????"
Gray and Amon see Dan and Medusa *finally* have that kiss they were gonna have.
"Um, loverbirds?" "There's time for that when we get home!"
Dan and Medusa blush. "Of course, Gray." They run to Planemon.
EPILOGUE
The Cappers are welcomed with a victory parade from the citizens of Sub-Pop Rock City.
"This is sweet guys!" says Dan. "These people are celebrating my new high
score of 81789 on House of the Dead 2!"
"No, Dan!" says Medusa. "We defeated the K.O.R., remember?"
"Oh, of course D!" says Dan. "Suuuuuuuuub Pop, Rock City!!!! We cap to
live, and live to cap!"
"And for meaningful products with honest to goodness value, check out Ronco!"
says Ron.
"RON!" says the Cappers.
"Sorry, guys. I won't *force* people to buy my products, at least!"
Meanwhile at Capper Central
Tolstoy and Hobbes watch the celebration.
"Damn, that Dan, always the ham when it comes to this stuff!" says Hobbes.
"Calm down, Hobbes." says Tolstoy. "Dan is a handful, but they did a
wonderful job, let them have their fun."
"You're right, Master. But, wasn't there some Amon-ia right here before?"
The End