Remmy's Slide

Part Five

Kortac Secret Base on Earth

    Martac fumed around his quarters. His new allies, the Kromags, have gone missing. And they took their ship and all their wonderful technology that the Kortac were going to "borrow" to conquer the Earth. He walked out of his quarters and headed straight for the control room. All Kortac were working feverishly trying to find the missing Kromags.

    "Lieutenant, report." Martac ordered, not in the best of moods for bad news.

    "We have not been able to locate the Kromags nor their ship." a Kortac officer replied, "But do not worry, sir, if they try to use their ship, whether it's to attack or to try and "slide" out, we will detect it and then we'll be able to grab them."

    "Good, and when we do, treat them as if they were Cappers stumbling into our secret base."

    The Kortac officer gave an evil grin, baring his sharp teeth. There were a few death options he wanted to test out on Cappers, but a Kromag might work just as good. The chief Kortac scientist walked over to Martac and gave a slight bow.

    "Sir," he said, "It appears that our 'inviting' the Kromags into this reality has cause some catastrophic effects in the dimensional vortex."

    "I know," Martac replied, "I was not expecting the Kromags to disappear like they did. All I wanted was to steal their technology, then send them back. That's all I wanted, is that too much to ask?"

    "No sir, when you stop to think about it, it's really not too much to ask."

    Martac looked up and slowly shook his head, "In one of my previous lives, I must of gotten the Mother Goddess upset at me. Why else would I be faced with Cappers and this. Mostly, Cappers. Are you certain that they are humans?"

    "Now that you mention it, there was one who's DNA pattern was not that of human origin."

    "Shut up, I was talking rhetorically."

    "Yes sir, sorry."

    Martac stormed out of the control room, the rest of the Kortac watched him leave, then continued searching for the Kromags.

Capper Central

    "Interesting idea, Hobbes." Gray said, "But if I remember that episode, they slid into what was known as a Sliding Cage, and they used the technology in the cage to slide out to the worlds where they were all at before arriving there."

    Remmy nodded, "That's exactly what happened. But we could use the Kortac technology they used to start this whole mess to send the 'mags and me back."

    "I don't think you're going to find that very easy to do." Animebabe responded

    "Yea," added Rizzz "we found their previous two bases before, now they're getting real tight on keeping the new base a secret. I don't even think that the Sunshine Cab Company could help us."

    Remmy looked at Rizzz, "The who?"

    Gray shook his head, "Long story, ain't got the time to explain."

    Remmy looked over at Hobbes, "Ok, Computer Brother, how do we fix the whole mess?"

    "Well," Hobbes explained, "we do have our tracking devices that we use to pin on objects to trace where they're going."

    "Except for the Kortac base." Medusa added, then looked at Remmy, "Already tried that, they're getting better at hiding."

    "Yes," Hobbes continued, "with the exception of the Kortac base, the tracers have been very useful. If we were to plant one on the Kromags ship, I could hone in on the signal and teleport them back into the vortex, hopefully a safe distance away from the rip in reality."

    Tolstoy nodded, approvingly, "Then all we have to do after that, is to open the wormhole and Mr. Brown could slide and continue on his merry way."

    "Which is very simple to do." Hobbes said, "But I think we should get the Kromags out of the way first."

    There was a faint ping coming from Hobbes. The Cappers all tried to stifle their chuckles, they had always thought that Hobbes was too superior to be "The Machine That Goes Ping"

    "There is a communication coming through." Hobbes said, "It's Kraag. Oh, and very funny guys."

    Medusa looked at Remmy with a proud look on her face, "Tolstoy designed him, we altered his programming."

    "Alright Kraag," Gray said into the communicator, "You want the Slider, we want the Capper. And no Kortac interference."

    "No." Kraag said, "The Kortac are not involved with this. Reptiles are such fools."

    Gray looked down at Edgar, who was pretending he didn't hear what Kraag just said, then Gray turned his attention back to the communicator, ""Ok, so where do we meet? What with this feaky storm, there isn't a lot of dry places."

    "Fifty miles north of what you call 'Las Vegas, Nevada'. The exchange will be made there. One hour."

    The communication ended. Gray looked over at Remmy.

    "What do they call Las Vegas?" Gray asked

    "I don't know, man. But they didn't say anything about the catastrophe that's being caused."

    Rizzz nodded, "Yea, I noticed that. Either they don't know, or they do know, but pretending that they don't know, thinking that we don't know."

    "Or." Medusa added, "Maybe they know that we know, but they're pretending that they don't know, so we would think that they don't know, but in fact, we do know."

    "D," Gray asked, "did that just hurt?"

    Tolstoy grabbed Medusa's hand before she could hit Gray, "We need to get ready. Capper leaders will take Mr. Brown to the rendezvous point. Get some of the others to stand by."

    "How are we going to get Remmy away from the Kortac after we get JAWS?" Animebabe asked

    Gray chuckled, "We'll let the Kortac handle the Kromags. Trust me, if they left the Kortac, Martac is probably pisseder than pissed."

    Animebabe just looked at him, "Pisseder than pissed?"

Nevada Desert, One Hour Later

    The Capper leaders sat in the shade that the dimensional cruiser provided, the storm apparent on the horizon all around them, but not reaching the desert yet. Remmy looked around nervous. Gray got up and walked over to him.

    "Remmy," Gray said, "don't worry about it. We're not going to let you go to some Kromag death camp."

    "Yea, I know. I just can't help it."

    "Hey, relax. And if we fail, the entire multiverse will be destroyed, so it'll save you the trouble of winding up in a death camp."

    "You are a hell of a lot of comfort you know that?" Remmy said, before laughing. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

    Gray shrugged, "Sure, what's on your mind?"

    "What happened to Valerie?"

    Gray's smile faded, "Ah, that. Well, about five years ago, there was a race of demons that we referred to as The Shadow Boxers. Their leader, The Shadow Monarch, fought her. Before I arrived to assist, he struck her down, sending a poison into her system that there was no antidote. The poison was killing her slowly and painfully. So, I did the only thing that I had to do to ease her pain."

    "I'm sorry, really. On the tv show, you guys looked really happy together."

    "Yea. One of the saddest season finale's."

    BuckFifty walked over to them, his laser bazooka at the ready, "Heads up, you goofy Americans, you. Company's coming."

    Everyone looked over to see the Kromags ship arriving. It landed, and the ships doors opened up. The Kromags and JAWS6988 walked out of the ship. MedusaD held up a device and looked at the readings on the small screen.

    "That's our JAWS." she said

    DanZero held up his laser rifle, "Thank God. Gray, any idea how we're going to get the tracers onto their ship."

    "I think I'm going to use a sling shot." Gray replied.

    Kraag of the Kromags looked over at the group of humans. "Ok, Cappers. We send over your comrade. You send over the Slider. At the same time. No tricks. No firing of weapons."

    "Damn the sum bitch." Buck whispered to Gray, "I want to shoot something."

    "Hold your ground, you Crazy Canadian, you." Gray said, then calling out to Kraag, "Alright. Let's do it and get this over with."

    Remmy looked over at the Cappers, "I sure hope you know what you're doing."

    Gray smiled, "Don't worry, we're wondering the same thing."

    "Brother Man, you are nuts."

    As Remmy started walking over to the Kromags, JAWS walked towards the Cappers. Just as the two met each other in the middle. A shot rang out and hit one of the Kromags. Kraag looked over to see the Kortac heading towards them in jeeps that they had "borrowed". In the lead jeep, Martac stood shaking his fist at the Kromags.

    "We will show you what it means to betray the Kortac." he shouted.

    "Cappers." Gray called into his communicator, "NOW!"   

    Forty Cappers materialized next to the leaders and all fired on the Kortac. Remmy and JAWS started running towards the Cappers. Remmy was grabbed from behind and was face to face with Kraag.

    "Damn you, Slider." Kraag said, "I am going to finish this once and for....AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!"

    Remmy looked down to see Edgar chewing on Kraags leg. Only thing Remmy could do was laugh.

    "That's what you get for the 'stupid lizard' remark." Remmy said.

    "Edgar!" Gray called out as he walked over. "Heel."

    Edgar let Kraag go, who was pulled back by his men who had not been killed yet. As they boarded the ship, Gray pulled out a slingshot and placed a tracer in it. He pulled the elastic back, and shot the tracer at the ship, sticking on the hull.

    "Bullseye." Gray said. As he watched the ship start to take off, he spoke into his communicator. "Hobbes, now."

    Instantly, the ship shimmered and disappeared.

    Martac pounded the dashboard of the jeep.

    "Fine" He yelled, "Fire on the Cappers instead."

    "Sir," A Kortac officer said, "The Cappers are gone."

    Martac looked to see that the only beings around were Kortac. Martac continued beating the dashboard.

Capper Central

    DanZero looked at Hobbes monitors. Slowly the huge storm was dispersing, and the ultimate destruction of the multiverse was halted.

    "Once again, the Cappers save the day." Dan said, "With a little help from a Slider."

    As if on cue, Rembrandt Brown walked in, his arm around Opus. Everyone greeted him.

    "Did his talk with you helped?" Gray asked Opus.

    "A little." Opus replied "Still would like to know who my parents are supposed to be though."

    "With all the weird stuff we've been going through since starting this little organization, you just might."

    Tolstoy walked into the room and looked over at Remmy, "Well, Remmy, everything is going back to normal, with the exception of one thing."

    "Me." Remmy replied, "I'd love to stay, but I think it's time I got back to sliding."

    "Who knows," DanZero said, "Maybe you'll wind up back home, free of Kromags, and go back to being a singer."

    "It'd be nice."

    Gray smiled at Remmy, then turned to Hobbes. "Hobbes, open the wormhole."

    The familiar bluish swirl that Remmy had been used to seeing appeared. He walked next to the Gray Zombie, extending his hand. As Gray took it, Remmy pulled him closer and embraced him. Then, after waving to everyone, Remmy jumped into the wormhole, which quickly closed.

    "Well." Tolstoy said, "How do you top that?"

    "Hey," Medusa said, suddenly remembering "What about the technology that the Kortac stole from the Kromags?

Kortac Hidden Base

    "Why can't we use the devices?" Martac asked

    "The Kromag technology," the scientist replied, "uses a power source that is non existent on this Earth. There is nothing similar to it on this or any of the known dimensional worlds. Basically sir, we did all this for nothing."

    Martac slumped in my chair, "I hate my life."

Slider Prime (Six Months Later)

    Rembrandt Brown slid from Capper Central, to his Earth. Already, the humans were pushing the Kromags back, liberating their home. Remmy helped and became one of the top heroes of the war. Eventually, Maggie and the others had slid onto the Slider Prime as well. It was at Remmy's home that he told Maggie the story of the Cappers.

    "Sounds like a really boring adventure." Maggie said jokingly.

    Remmy smiled, "But at least I got to meet some nice people."

    "Wish I could of met them."

    "There is a way you can." Remmy said, handing Maggie an issue of the TV Guide.

    There on the cover was the cast of a new show on one of the networks. A show about an internet community who had spent time making funny captions on a cable networks web site, chosen by a mysterious man to save the Earth from a dimensional race called The Kortac. The show's name was The Capper Chronicles.

The End

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